A Million Little Lies

Oprah Winfrey has been trying to take over this country for years. She has been very clever, but I have not been duped. I've watched from the wings as she infiltrated the minds of the American female in hopes of creating her giant like-thinking army. It started when she lost all that weight the first time. "Look at Oprah" her minions cawed, "she's battling her weight just like we do." Sure she is. I could lose lots of weight too if I had a personal chef and a trainer.

Then Oprah begat Dr. Phil. As Marlon Brando said in the "Godfather", "That I will not forgive." The queen of daytime then took it upon herself to usurp Ed Asner and remind us that reading is fundamental. Women, and some weak, whipped men, began to only read what Oprah told them. She had been elevated to ultimate opinion maker. The entire literary world was kissing her ass.

I have no personal axe to grind with Oprah. I've been on her show a couple of times and she seemed pleasant enough. I did take pleasure in the news today that she had been duped. Apparently, James Frey, the author of "A Million Little Pieces", a book that "kept Oprah up all night", lied about a lot of the stuff in the book. I just love when someone who acts so smug and superior has the wool pulled over their eyes.

I'm not sure why this makes me so happy. I'm sure it's a character flaw and if you asked my mom she would surely be able to diagnose me based on an article she read in Oprah's magazine. I feel like a kid on the playground...Nah, nah, nah, you believed the fake felon. Later...Brian