Quiet, I'm Reading

This week has been unusual. Sunday afternoon, "Wife" and I dropped "Daughter" off at Girl Scout Camp. She will be living in the woods like a badger for the week. This is the second time in a month that we have been alone. Last time, you may remember, we went on an alcohol, movie and dining odyssey. This week has been much more tame, or if you prefer, boring. The last three days at the casa have been ruled by a seventeen year old wizard and his battle with evil. Yes, "Potter mania" has taken over.

Everyone here at world headquarters is a fan of the Harry Potter series of books and movies. Laugh if you want to at the image of me sitting on the veranda, adult beverage within reach, devouring the tales of the boy wizard, but the books are very good. They also provide a nice forearm workout since they are all gigantic tomes weighing in at about 78 pounds a piece. I think it's great that these books are not only getting kids and adult to read for fun, but also spawning a generation of literate Popeyes. I must confess that I didn't start reading them until the third book, since I had already seen the first two movies, and reading those books seemed a little redundant. I read "Prisoner of Azkaban", or P.O.A. as the dorks call it, and I was hooked. I broke my cardinal rule of not reading the books until right before the movies came out after finishing O.O.P. (hey dorks, I'm one of you). I immediately had to read H.B.P. (yeah you know me!) and found myself jonesing for the final chapter. I had never experienced this kind of literary lust before. While I enjoy reading, and like Ed Asner, know that it is fundamental, the idea of longing for a book was as foreign to me as looking forward to a random Thursday.

"Wife" on the other hand was all about the longing. Months before the publishing date, she had gone on-line and taken advantage of some price slashing. She pre-ordered Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" (D.H. from now on. Join us, it's fun.) and was guaranteed that it would be delivered on the day of release. She and "Daughter" sat on the front porch (though they deny this) waiting for our loyal letter carrier ( I was told "mailman" isn't PC anymore). I came home from a bike ride to find them hunkered together on the stoop reading the chapter headings. I'm proud to say that neither of them jumped to the last page to find out the end of the saga. This is very surprising, since "Wife" would rather hit me with a hammer than wait for any type of gift or outcome.

Now the battle began. Who would get first crack at the book? There had been some discussion about buying a second copy, but despite my aversion to sharing, I vetoed he notion. "Daughter" got first dibs since "Wife" and I were busy. She got through a couple chapters before leaving for camp, and since reading in the woods is frowned upon as an unsocial act, it was down to the two of us. "Wife" started Sunday night and almost didn't go to bed. I had lost her to the world of wizards, muggles and evil and there was no drawing her out. The same went for Monday. After scarfing down my deliciously prepared dinner, she ran to the book like Lindsey Lohan to a bottle of vodka. She finished last night and now is bursting to discuss the book with me. Since I'm not Oprah, have no book club and haven't finished the book yet, she'll have to add this to the list of disappointments I have inflicted on her.

I spent a few hours reading Monday afternoon, and am going to read some more today. I always feel weird sitting down to read. I don't look at it as a waste of time, just something that takes up some time. I should have taken the book with me yesterday. I worked as a stand in for an NFL player on a McDonald's commercial. There was a lot of downtime when I wasn't being used as human furniture, but hindsight is 20/20. I'm off to the big chair now. I have to finish D.H. soon, or "Wife" will explode. If I'm done before "Daughter" gets home, there will only be one bookmark left and we can lord it over her head that we know what happened. Time to flex the forearms. Later...Brian