A Little Off The Top

My unusual schedule affords me plenty of time at home. Because of that I take on a lot of the day to day household duties. Today I did something that had me completely out of my depth. I had to take "Daughter" for a haircut.

I know it's cliche to say that men and women are different, but sometimes the differences are so glaring that to ignore them would be insane. "Wife" asked me to take "Daughter" for the haircut and I figured it would be a pretty simple task. I'd run her over to the barber shop, they'd trim her bangs so that we could once again see her eyes, and that would be that. I do it all the time. Well, in case you've been living under a rock, little girls don't go to barber shops. They go to "Kiddie Salons." These are hair cutting joints designed just for kids. They are decorated with bright colors and pictures, have fancy, kid friendly chairs and video screens at each cutting station. Now your youngsters can stay connected to the electronic teat while getting a trim. This particular salon gives their pint sized clients a choice of watching a movie or playing a video game. When I get my haircut, I have to settle for talking to the barber and the other old guys about all the problems of the world. I wish I could lose myself in Monsters Inc. for awhile.

There is nothing easy about a girl's haircut. "Wife" told me to tell the stylist that "Daughter" was "growing her hair out, but needed a trim and to layer the bangs." What the hell does that mean? If you're growing your hair out, why get a haircut? Then "Daughter" started telling me all these other instructions about layering and feathering and length. I thought my head would explode. I repeated "Wife's" demands, and then with a defeated tone told the woman that "Daughter" would fill her in on the rest. "Daughter emerged a little later looking about the same as when she went in except for the fact that I could see her eyes. I don't know about you, but when I get my hair cut, people can tell. I even paid more for "Daughter's" style than I pay to have my own sweet doo sculpted. Oh well, glamour costs I guess.

It's time for another shameless plug, but hey, this is my post, so I can do what I want. If you're a night owl, don't forget to tune into "WGN Overnight" with myself and Laura Hirsch Sunday morning from 1-5 am CST. The shows are getting better every week, and it's only a matter of time before I do something that may cost me my job. You don't want to miss that. Have a great weekend. Later...Brian