Tell The Truth Fatty!

Some people live in denial. I guess it makes it easier to function if you never have to face the truth. Reality can be a bitch, so why not ignore her and create your own little universe? That way you can be the most beautiful, smartest and most popular person you know. The problem is, someone like me will come along and burst your bubble.

A study came out today that said that three quarters of obese Americans say they have healthy eating habits. Forty percent of the porkers surveyed said that they do "vigorous" exercise at least three times a week. When I read this I almost spit out my Ding Dong and had to put down my chocolate malt. Come on my bloated brothers and sisters! It's time to roll off the couch and take a good hard look at yourselves. Be honest, nobody gets to be fat by eating right and exercising, unless of course you're living in "bizarro world". If that were the case, Kate Moss would be scarfing down Big Macs, and washing them down with syrup, all while slumped in a La-Z-Boy.

The survey was conducted by phone, which didn't surprise me since I'm sure a lot of the respondents couldn't walk anywhere to answer the questions. Dr. David Schutt of Thomson Medstat, the company that conducted the survey, said in the most obvious statement ever, "There is perhaps some denial going on, or a lack of understanding of what constitutes healthy eating and vigorous exercise." Gee Doc, you think so? I'm sure to some of these people, eating healthy means ordering mushrooms and peppers on your jumbo pizza and only eating a half gallon of frozen yogurt because it has less carbs. I don't think walking down the driveway to get the paper, or answering the door for the delivery guy constitute vigorous exercise. Listen Jumbo, just because you spent an hour throwing up your gluttonous feast, that doesn't mean you were working your abs. The survey also didn't ask how much people ate. Quite frankly, they just didn't have time for the long answers.

I know it's hard to be fat. I'm fat, but I'm honest about it. If you're happy with yourself fine, if not, be honest and start to change it. There is no substitute for exercise and a good diet, I don't care what your imaginary friends say. If the voices in your head sound like the bells on the Good Humor truck, it's time to re-evaluate. Eat up! Later...Brian