Doin' Hard Time

There is justice in the world! Just when it looked like the rich and privileged could do whatever they wanted with no repercussions, along comes Judge Michael Sauer and sets things right.

Sauer is the judge who sentenced debutant, porn star and all around waste of space Paris Hilton to 45 days in an LA County jail for violating her probation. I'd like to buy that man a drink, or a new gavel. Hilton had been convicted of driving under the influence and sentenced to probation, and alcohol education. She decided that, because she has more money than God, the laws of the common man didn't apply to her. She blew off the alcohol program and then kept driving on a suspended license. Not only was she driving, she got pulled over twice. No one ever accused Paris of being a genius. Hell, no one has accused Paris of having any smarts at all. When she got hauled into court for violating her probation, Paris, in typical, "It's not my fault" fashion, blamed her manager for giving her bad info. The judge would have none of it, and in an act of Jurisprudence that rivals the Scopes Monkey Trial in significance, banged his gavel and sentenced Little Miss No Panties to a Summer lockup. While he was at it, Judge Sauer should have locked up the origin of all the horror, Hilton's mother Kathy for contempt. She laughed out loud when she heard the sentence and then asked the judge if she could have his autograph. Sure you can, right on your sentencing papers. Who's laughing now bitch?

Paris' attorney is already filing an appeal and she is yammering to anyone that will listen that the sentence is cruel and unwarranted, although I'm sure she didn't come up with those words herself. She was only able to mutter something profound like, not hot. She is supposed to report to the County lockup in June. What a great way for all of us to kick off the "Paris Free Summer".

I'd love to be a fly on the wall in that institution. Although Paris will be segregated for her safety, I'm sure she'll have some contact with the inmates during her one hour of free time a day. Imagine Paris weight lifting in the yard with some of the hard core Latinas, or working in the craft room with some Bloods or Crips. Maybe she'll be sitting in the day room watching some baby momma drama on the Maury Povich show with some little sisters of the Yakuza. Instead of pushing the food anorexically around her plate at Mr. Chow, she'll be staring at a state issued baloney sandwich. Maybe she can call Domino's. No way, she can't have her cell phone or any other electronic device. Now that's hot! Maybe Paris will use her unfortunate incarceration as a chance to better herself. Perhaps during the 45 days she will pour over law books, researching an appeal, help write letters for other inmates asking for clemency, learn to read in the first place. Probably not, but she'll make somebody a heck of a "prison wife".

I'm so happy that justice has finally come back to LA. Maybe this will spread. Martha Stuart went to jail, now Paris, I can't wait to see who's next. Later...Brian