That's Her Story and She's Sticking To It

I can't stay long today. I have to head out to the woods and re-claim "Daughter" from camp. I'm sure she fared OK, since we didn't get a frantic call from the counselors asking us to come get her. There have been heavy thunder storms in the area the last couple of nights, so I'm sure there was a touch of misery at the campsite. I envision a group of ten year old girls in their own episode of "Tweens vs. Wild". I don't think the Discovery Channel will pick it up, but I may pitch the idea to the Disney Channel.

Speaking of young women battling the elements, how bout that Lindsey Lohan? This chic is 600 pounds of bad news jammed into a hundred pound party girl. This has not been a banner week for the freshly rehabbed LiLo. She was arrested the other day for another DUI (who lets this wild child drive?) and possession of a controlled substance. How's that rehab workin' out for you? According to reports, Lindsey was chasing the car of her assistant when she was pulled over. Cops say she failed the field sobriety test and they found a bag of "white powder" in her pocket. All this while she's on probation for a previous DUI. Today, new reports came out saying that she hijacked the SUV she was driving and that three guys were trapped in there during her Mr. Toad-like wild ride. Just when you thought Britney was the craziest.

LiLo is using my favorite excuse for the alleged cocaine possession, "they weren't my pants." I've made some lame excuses in my time, but never have I tried to convince someone that I was sporting another man's drawers. Does she really expect anyone to believe this tale? Sure she does. She's a celebrity, and thinks she can do whatever she wants. I think she should have blamed space aliens, an evil twin or Hillary Duff for stashing the blow in her Calvins. Any of those would have at least been entertaining. She could have gone with the "Parent Trap" or "Freaky Friday" defense, citing a tear in the time/space continuum. She has experience with those and the excuse would have left people scratching their heads. I guess Lindsey isn't really good at improv and just blurted out the first thing that popped into her head. Come on baby, you're an actress, be in the moment.

I feel a little sorry for Lindsey. She is obviously an alcoholic and drug addict. That's a lot more serious than just being a spoiled idiot like Paris. Addiction is a horrible thing, but it doesn't look like she's ready to kick the habits yet. I know people who have gone to rehab and it's a hard process. That's why they call it "working your program." Maybe Lindsey needs to go to a rehab facility that's not so celebrity friendly. With private suites and liberal visiting schedules, these places don't really seem too tough. How about going to an inner city rehab to see what hard work is like.

All that being said, there's something kind of hot about a woman that out of control. There was a picture of Lindsey last week in a pink bikini, dark glasses and high heels. She was flashing the victory sign and around her ankle was her alcohol monitoring device. That's a party. Let's hope that the party doesn't end in tragedy.

If you have a chance, make sure you listen to the big show on WGN tomorrow night/Sunday morning. I'll be talking to a couple of media guys about Lollapalooza and playing Simpsons trivia during the "Overnight Arcade". It's a great reason to stay awake all night. Have a great weekend. Later...Brian