The Glamorous Life

I'm sure you've heard the old joke about the guy who picks up after the elephant in the circus. Someone asks why he doesn't quit, and the man, confused by this query answers, "What, and give up show business."

I love what I do. I get to travel, meet new people and get drunk in exotic locales. Nothing compares to hearing a crowd explode with laughter or having someone tell you that you made their day because they really needed to laugh. Somtimes however, it sems like you're carrying a big shovel and the elephant just finished six chorizo and egg burritos.

Sure, the public thinks that this is a glamourous life and that I'm hob-nobbing with celebs on a regular basis. I try to perpetuate that myth as much as possible. I tell them I'm driving my SUV because the leather in my Bentley is being buffed with a fine chamois, and that Paris Hilton was going to meet me at the Waffle House, but she's jetting to Denmark with Carrot Top. Only I know the truth and I'm going to share it with you. If you don't want to give up the dream, click back to whatever you were looking at last, and in the immortal words of the Wizard, "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain."

Good, are they gone? It's pretty sweet. I just don't want a lot of people to know because I've got my wife and family convinced I'm working. I do work hard, for an hour a night, two hours on the weekend. The only bad part is being away from home. Sometimes the accomodations aren't the best. I'm in a hotel this week. For legal reasons, I won't say which one except to tell you the roof is red. The room is so small I feel like a veal calf awaiting my piccata. I think Spike has more room in his pen at home. There is mystery condensation on top of the air conditioner that refuses to stay gone despite repeated drying.

I can't complain. As Tony Soprano said, "This is the life we've chosen." The free time just makes it easier to write longer posts and see the sights. I'm off to explore exotic Toledo. Maybe I'll hook up with Usher at the Chinese buffet. Later...Brian