I Feel Dirty

Readers Digest just published a report listing the fifty cleanest cities in America. They based the study on a number of factors including air and water quality, hazardous waste and sanitation. Chicago came in dead last. Oh Joy! Now we're not only the fattest city, but also the dirtiest. To quote Dean Wormer, "fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life."

I was very excited when I saw the story saying Chicago was the dirtiest city. Visions of strippers, adult book stores and lusty nights filled my perverted noggin. Imagine my dismay when I realized we were all living like Oscar the Grouch in a flithy can. What bothers me is that we finished behind, Detroit, Cleveland and Los Angeles, three cities that I have visited and found quite disgusting.

It's time to turn my thoughts to more pressing mattters. I'm leaving town tomorow for Toledo. I'm not sure how clean it is there, since they weren't ranked. I haven't worked at this club in a while, so I'm looking forward to the shows. It's nice to be on the road for a few days. i get to sleep late, eat what I want and generally be a goof. That feeling lasts about two days, and then i miss my bed, my family and and my soft, quilted toilet paper. I'll talk to you from the road. Later...Brian