Good Grief

Thank God Valentine's Day is over! So much pressure. As I said yesterday, I'm not the most romantic of guys, but I think I did OK. "Wife" liked her gift very much and was wowed by my thoughtfulness. Now I can breathe easy. I don't have to get her another gift until her birthday.

Last night I saw the Charlie Brown Valentine's Special. Charlie and I have so much in common. We're both balding, have a unique fashion sense and have never drilled a forty yard field goal. I was reminded of how painful Valentine's Day used to be. Back in the day, if you gave out cards at school, you were able to just give them to the kids you wanted. Great for the popular kids, lousy for the rest of us. The teachers used to have us put our heads on our desk, and close our eyes while other kids passed out their valentines. I would just go to sleep, and pray for an early death. I knew what was coming when I opened my eyes. An empty desk, that's what. I can understand Miss "I sprouted breasts in fourth grade" getting tons of cards, but how 'bout a little love for the chubby kid with the cutting sense of humor and bleu cheese breath? Thankfully, "Daughter" doesn't have to worry about these kind of injustices. Our PC world now decrees that if you bring a card for one kid, you have to bring them for all. This is one rule I can abide. The unpopular will have plenty of time to come to grips with their station in life. Let them have their false moment of joy as they clutch their Sponge Bob valentine.

Another thing Charlie Brown and I have in common is a crush on a little red haired girl. In high school, I had the biggest crush on a red head. She was a twin, but I had no interest in her sister. There was something about a redhead that made me crazy. Maybe it was the fact that being Irish I knew she'd be able to drink with me. Anyway, one Valentine's Day I bought a card for her. I filled it out, expressing my undying affection for her and put it in my backpack. Not being the confident man about town that I am now, it stayed in my backpack for the whole day. Another Valentine's Day down the crapper. I don't know why I never gave her the card. If I had five cents I could see Lucy at the psychiatrist's booth and get analyzed. Ah, the memories. Later...Brian