Seriously Oprah, Who Cares?

There are a lot of big things happening in the world. Bombings in the Middle East, President Bush using salty language, gas expected to reach four dollars a gallon, but the biggest story in Chicago, if not the country, centers around the one and only Oprah. It's been a while since I've thought about the "Big O", except for her appearance in one of my recent dreams, but that's another story. Today I can't help but think of her, as she and best friend Gayle King announced again that they are not gay.

"I understand why people think we're gay," Oprah said. "There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it--how can you be this close without it being sexual?" In case you were wondering, I wasn't on the phone with Oprah. She said all this in the August issue of O, the Oprah magazine. The lesbi.....women go on to say that they would have no problem telling the public if they were in a sexual relationship. No problem except that their mouths would be full. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Who cares? Are that many people consumed with Oprah's sex life that she and her "girlfriend" need to tell us all that they're not "girlfriends"? I think I have a label for the kind of relationship Oprah and Gayle share."Two rich, self involved harpies who think that the world revolves around their self righteous, meddling, don't you wish you were us selves." Does that about sum it up. Don't lie Oprah. If you and Gayle were involved in the Sapphic love that dare not speak it's name, you'd be closeted deeper than some of your favorite couch jumping, or boy in a bubble guests. Do you really think your armies of desperate housewife followers would hang on your every word if your breath smelled like Gayle tartar? No way!

I don't care if Oprah is gay or not. In fact I don't care about anyone's sexuality except my own, and the amount of sex that I am or am not having. What gets me so worked up is that Oprah feels she needs to draw more attention to herself. If you're not gay, shut up and ignore the rumors. The rumors don't seem to be affecting your business. If you are gay, shut up and either keep it to yourself, or decide that you need to make one more piece of your personal business public. If it's that important to you for everyone to know your sexuality, why not put on a Pay-Per-View special where you mount your "fiance" Stedman. Give your fans a good showing of your erotic skills, and lay the rumors (and Stedman) to rest. I know I'd plop down my hard earned coin to watch the "queen of daytime" bump uglies. Hey Oprah, if it helps, he can wear a Gayle mask. Later...Brian