I Voted

At least that what's the sticker on my jacket says. I went to exercise my civic duty this afternoon. I did it not only because I believe you can't bitch about things if you don't vote, but also because I never tire of seeing the old ladies who are acting as judges.

There's something heart warming about retired women suddenly being infused with temporary power. For the twelve hours the polls are open, these grannies are the protectors of the American way of life, and they won't let you forget it. In between gulps of cold coffee and chaws of beef jerky, they keep the polling place running smoothly. I walked into the back room of the library (a better choice than the garage I had to vote in while in California) and was greeted by the liver spotted tribunal. The first gate keeper demanded my name. From the tone of her voice I was expecting the next woman to shine a bright light in my eyes while the third muskateer asked for my papers. For whatever reason, my name was not on the list. Believing I was an infidel or third party supporter, Judge number one snidely asked, "are you sure you're supposed to vote here?" "Yeah, I think so" was my brilliant retort. She then escorted me to a map so big, astronauts could use it to find their way home, and demanded to know where I lived.

While I was boning up on my cartography, Judge number 2, who had been covertly listening to my whole exchange (Maybe not too covertly. The room was small, and my voice carries) piped up. "He's in the book!" Then the judges started squawking at each other like hens trying to avoid Colonel Sanders. It was finally determined that I was who I said I was, lived where I said I lived and was losing patience with the Democratic process. I received my ballot and as Jethro might say, commenced to votin'.

I hate to say this, but some of my votes were the lesser of two evil types. I really felt there were no good choices in some of the races. I do however enjoy bitching, so I voted to ensure my future bitchiness. Not to sound trite, but go vote. It really is one of the big things that our country has going for it, and yes, people have fought and died so we could keep doing it. Now stop rolling your eyes at me and get your pampered American ass to your local polling place. Then tomorrow we'll get a cup of coffee and start complaining. Later...Brian