Stash Your Butts

I know I've been posting a lot about the Maui trip this week. I'm not trying to make you jealous, it's just that it was one of the best vacations I ever had. There are more stories to tell, but you'll have to sit with me and have a beer or listen to the big show on WGN to hear the rest. The experience of being in Hawaii was wonderful, and as much as I tried to keep the annoyances of everyday life at arms length, some idiots were still able to invade my comfort bubble.

There's a certain mentality that smokers have that makes them think it's ok for them to pollute the rest of the universe. You see it everyday. People smoking in restaurants (though thankfully that is becoming a rarity), herds of pasty faced nicotine addicts huddled outside office buildings and people walking down the street waving their coffin nail around with impunity. The biggest mystery to me about smokers is that they seem to have no concept of proper waste disposal. How many times have you seen cigarette butts thrown on the sidewalk, train platform or playground. My dad used to take the last puff of his cigarette just before he walked in the front door and toss it on the side of the front steps of our house. Why do these yahoos think the world is their ash tray? It's sad that we've come to expect this kind of thing in the city, I didn't think I would run across it in Maui.

Imagine my horror when I walked to the exquisite white sand beach our hotel was sitting on to soak up some meditative ocean sounds, only to find cigarette butts littering the sand. Who are you people? What selfish, irresponsible mind set makes you think it's ok to toss your butts on the beach? Are you that diluted to think that they'll dissolve instantly like a secret tape in "Mission Impossible"? Here's a news flash you slob, they don't. The world isn't the little bean bag filled ash catcher you have stuck to the dashboard of your "83 Carolla. I don't understand littering to begin with. I'm not a crying Indian or anything, I just know it's not cool. The rest of the world is not your maid! How dare you leave your Maybelline smeared Benson & Hedges where people who actually are thrilled to be out in nature are walking. I don't want to feel like I'm laying in a dumpster just to enjoy a sunset on the beach. Rub your smoke out on the bottom of your K-Mart flip flop and carry it to a trash can. You'll feel better. This simple act of social responsibility will make you smile so much that we'll all catch a glimpse of your yellow teeth.

I got so worked up because it was such a shock. Anyway, it was a hiccup in an otherwise wonderful week. I'll share this piece of info with all the guys. If you take your lady to Hawaii, make sure you hit a luau. The hula dancers can move their hips so fast you'll wonder if they have paint shakers under their grass skirts. Grab yourself a Mai Tai and run that picture through your filthy minds. If you're a true night owl, make sure you catch the Halloween spectacular Saturday night/Sunday morning on WGN. Laura and I have lots of fun planned. I'm also filling in for the fabulous Steve and Johnnie, Monday and Friday morning from 2-5 AM. If you can't sleep, tune in. I'll try to help. Have a great weekend. Aloha....Brian