Maybe I'm Being Unreasonable

Am I the only person around who can read and understand English? If you're shaking your head or screaming "No" at your monitor, then my question is answered. My rational mind tells me that other people can read and understand, and maybe even maneuver through life, but in practice, this isn't always the case.

Three days a week I have to drive"Daughter" to school early for band. I'm happy to do it because I think it's great that she loves music and is playing an instrument. That joy is snuffed out every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning by lazy, inconsiderate or perhaps illiterate moms . I blame the moms because except for me, I have never seen another man dropping kids off at the school.

If you've ever dropped your kid off at school, you have noticed that the traffic flow has been planned down to the smallest detail. The goal of principals everywhere is to make sure none of their students is mashed in the parking lot by some mini van driving, Starbucks drinking, make- up applying soccer mom, or the one irate dad who has to deal with them all. "Daughter's" school is no exception. The driveway is clearly marked with traffic cones and a flashing light. Two huge signs tell drivers to pull all the way up to the flashing light before dropping off their rug rats. I have never seen one of these moms pull all the way up. They all stop right in front of the door. I guess this is to save their precious cargo the effort of having to walk an extra seven feet. By doing this, they hold up an entire line. It takes all of my will power not to honk my horn, or get out and point to the sign. It's probably better that I don't since "Daughter" has to attend that school and "Wife" doesn't want to move. I thought maybe I was nuts, that the sign was a figment of my imagination and that in fact I was projecting my utopian traffic patterns from some deeply buried place in my psyche. I asked "Daughter" and her friend if they too could see the signs, and if they could would they read it to me. They both rolled their eyes, but not before confirming the existence of the signs.

Is it a woman thing? Do these mommies think they are above the law? Here's something else. Have your kids ready to get out of the car when you pull up. Drop off is not the time to remind them of everything you ever told them. A quick "goodbye" and an "I love you" is all that's needed before kicking them out of the car. Lets get it together before I completely come unglued.

There, that's over. I'll be on WGN twice this weekend. Saturday morning from 2-5 am, I'll be guest hosting on "WGN Rewind" and then it's the big show Sunday morning from 1-5 am with Laura. Don't miss it. Have a great weekend. Later...Brian