Something Fishy Is Goin On

I'm not a very trusting soul by nature. Maybe it's because I've been burned a couple of times, or maybe it's all a ruse to start my blog in a provocative way. Whatever the reason, the one person I thought I could always depend on was the knife wielding, paper hat wearing man that filleted, sliced and rolled my sushi. Now, like a guy sitting in the champagne lounge at a gentleman's club, that fantasy has been torn asunder.

An investigation by the Chicago Sun Times found that a number of sushi restaurants in the city were telling a big fish story. According to the report, many restaurants are claiming to be selling red snapper, when in fact, they are substituting lesser fish like tilapia. How could they possibly know this? Well, the had DNA tests done of course. There's a reporter bucking for a Pulitzer don't you think? Allegedly, (I say that because my DNA lab is closed and my access to red snapper is limited today) restaurants around the country are being sold fish that is being represented as red snapper and the owners of the restaurants either don't read the box, or don't care. red snapper is scarce and costs about twice as much as tilapia.

What I want to know is, who broke this story? I've eaten sushi a number of times, and to be honest, most of the raw fish tastes the same. Was a crazy fish monger enjoying some sashimi only to be hit with the realization that his fish was not fishy enough? Did he do a side by side comparison and then blow a call in to the fish police? I guess some people have palates that can distinguish the subtle differences, but my palate is semi retarded. Even some of the "experts" claim that red snapper tastes like a few other fish. The other thing is, imagine how the reporter must have smelled after smuggling all that sushi out of all the restaurants and spiriting it to the lab. I'll let you make the distasteful fish smelling joke about the female reporter. That would be below me.

I know people are saying that this is fraud, and that's why its a big deal, but isn't sushi a scam anyway. It's food that's not even cooked and that's hard to identify and it costs a fortune. There are a couple of "all you can eat" sushi places. Nothing throws up a red flag for me quicker than discounted fish in bulk form. By the way, the "crab" in the California rolls isn't really crab. It's "krab". Look I broke a story and I didn't even need to call in the FBI. Stay away from the wasabi. Later...Brian

PS, If you're up early tomorrow, I'm sitting in for Steve and Johnnie on WGN from 2-5 am. Check it out if you're up.