Light It Up

After a week of unseasonably warm temperatures, Fall has arrived in Chicago and with it the beginning of the holiday decorating season. My affinity for outdoor illumination is no secret, nor is my desire to squash my neighbors in a completely one sided, self inflicted decorating competition. Now that October is here, I must focus on "Game One" of the series, Halloween.

Sure, I may put out an inflatable leprechaun in March, enjoy some rocket's red glare in July and create a life size armada of the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria for Columbus Day, but Halloween is when the pressure really begins. It is a warm up for what is coming in December, and it sets the standard for neighborhood dominance. The pressure is on. Yesterday, "Daughter" and I spent a chunk of time dragging all the Halloween decor out from the "Harry Potter room under the stairs". I marveled at how much we had accumulated to decorate for what used to be a second tier holiday. I looked at the various orange and black plastic tubs, old cardboard boxes and trash bags full of foam tombstones and wondered when exactly I had lost perspective. Maybe it was last month when "Wife" and I injected our Halloween with fresh blood (no pun intended).

On a rare day off, "Wife" suggested that we "run over to Target" for a couple things. Once there we were drawn to the Halloween decorations like Rosie O'Donnell to a cream pie. "Wife" is really good at justifying purchases with the rationalization that "we haven't updated in a while." Being the supportive mate I am, I just mumble and let her do what she wants. We got a few new decorations, but only because we deemed them scary. "Wife" hates cutesy Halloween decor and so do I. I want kids to be so scared to come to the door that getting the candy seems like earning the medal of honor. That entire pile was still in the garage, making our collection so big that it makes you wonder if we have gone over to the dark side.

I got the inside of the house decorated yesterday, but today is the day that I make my outdoor statement. We have quite a display, but I must confess that I fear I may be upstaged by a guy on the next block. He had the audacity to build an entire haunted entrance to his house last year. I don't know how he did it exactly, but there were lights, sound effects, a tunnel and I swear I saw a real zombie eating some kid's brain. I could be wrong, it might have been a toddler on a sugar high, but it was dark. As you can imagine, all the compliments I got on my decorations couldn't make up for the fact that I thought I had been bested, so this year I'm upping my game. Besides some new lights and scary ghouls, I'm adding strobe lights, fog, and live bats that will snag themselves in the hair of trick-or-treaters. That may seem excessive, but you don't realize what's at stake. It's not just the glow of pride in "Daughter's" eyes when she looks at the house, or the "the yard looks nice" under sell that "Wife" will deliver. No, it's the knowledge that in the real or imagined battle for neighborhood supremacy, I am the victor. Unfortunately their are no spoils for the victor, only a weird sense of accomplishment that will carry me to Christmas.

If you're up late decorating for Halloween or using your time a little more productively, make sure you listen to the big show Saturday night/Sunday morning on WGN. It'll be another four hours of radio perfection featuring the serious (the public transportation crisis), the sublime (a report from our very own music guy on upcoming shows and releases) to the ridiculous (I may talk about decorating, since it has taken over my psyche). I'll also have the "Overnight Arcade" and we may do one of our "Loyal Listener Shout-outs". It doesn't seem possible to squeeze all that into four hours, but I talk fast. You just have to listen faster. Have a great weekend. Later...Brian