That's Not Just Any Glamour Shot

It was only a matter of time before society, fame and public opinion took it's inevitable toll on Miley Cyrus, or as I like to call her Hannah Montana. Well, I'm not the only one who likes to call her that, millions of adoring "tween" fans know her by that name too. That's the name that made her famous. That's the name that made her rich beyond her (and many of our) wildest imaginations, and that's the name that will be associated with the controversial pictures that are set to run in an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair magazine.

If you haven't heard, Miley posed for some pictures with famed celebrity photographer Annie Leibovitz. In one of these photos, the fifteen (please mark that number down for future reference, 15!) year old is draped in a sheet while siting on a bed. She appears to be wearing nothing more than her dignity and said sheet and is looking over her shoulder with a drowsy, some would say, "post amour" look. Despite the pose and the wardrobe, any rational person can see she's still a young girl, but somehow I don't think the picture is targeted at rational people. In another, she is dressed in leather and denim and lounging with her has been father Billy Ray "Achy Breaky" Cyrus in an overly friendly pose. In that shot, her shirt is a bit transparent revealing her budding womanhood. Now before you go labeling me as some kind of Humbert Humbert, this is not something I conjured out of my admittedly dirty mind. The reaction to these shots has been widely negative with parents wondering what has happened to the wholesome role model they have spent millions of dollars on for their children.

After the news of the photos was released, Miley released a statement saying she was embarrassed by the photos and the Disney company, scurrying to protect their teenage cash cow, claimed that Miley was manipulated by the national magazine. Miley said she thought the pictures would be fashion shots and that "you don't say no to Annie Liebovitz." Really? You don't say no to someone who is controlling the image you've worked so hard to create. OK, I'll buy that from a fifteen (there's that number again) year old, but according to reports, her parents and "handlers" (I love that term. It's like she's a wild beast.) were present during the entire photo shoot and because of digital technology saw every photo immediately. If that's true, why didn't those people tell Annie to ditch the come hither shots and focus on the youth and innocence of Miley? Why did her father sit for a creepy shot that doesn't express the father/daughter relationship but rather plays again on the "Lolita" vibe we get from the other photos? I'll tell you why.....cash, that's why. I don't care how famous a photographer is, or how famous my young daughter is, I reserve the right as a parent to say no.

Rosie O'Donnell, my least favorite celebrity has chimed in on the topic. She has a video blog ( It is a video with the same quality usually reserved for FBI sting cameras and she looks up at it like she was caught stealing underpants in a Wal-mart fitting room. Add to that the fact that she looks like she just came off a tequila and Moon Pie bender and you can decide for yourself how much credence to give her ramblings.) and used it to tell everyone to leave Miley alone and reiterated that it's hard to say no to Annie Liebovitz. Damn, Annie must be one tough old broad if Rosie can't tell her no. Why hasn't the government hired Annie to negotiate treaties across the world. I should ask Annie to drop by and tell "Daughter" to clean her room and pick up after the dogs. The woman carries unbelievable sway.

I really hope that someone pulls Miley's people aside and shows them endless pictures of Britney Spears. You remember her. She was the young girl who began her singing career with catchy pop songs and then decided to work the sex angle way before she was old enough. That's ended pretty well hasn't it? Let's just save some time and appoint Miley a guardian right now. Someone can send the surgically altered Billy Ray and Momma Cyrus their checks , but they won't be in charge of pimping out their daughter anymore. Disney should start looking for the next kid they can ride to the share holders meeting, because if this keeps up, all those millions of dollars from parents wanting wholesome entertainment for their kids is going to go away. Unless Annie Liebovitz tells us otherwise. Later...Brian