Is That A Blarney Stone In Your Pocket?

Top of the mornin' to ya. 'Tis a great day for the Irish. Yes, it's St. Patrick's Day and as you can imagine, I'm already three sheets to the wind. That would be funny/sad if it were true. Maybe it is. You'll never know unless you're packing a Breathalyzer under your green shirt. I know there are some people who are still drunk, given the fact that the celebrations began weeks ago, but came to a head Saturday. The big Chicago St. Patrick's Day Parade kicked off the festivities and every Irish pub or sports bar that could convince their waitresses to wear a short kilt had promotions running. Some places even tried to sell their versions of "family friendly" celebrations by having Irish dancers, face painters and balloon sculptors. These "artists" always seem creepy to me. They always have a little apron dangling in front of their junk and spend an improper amount of time fishing around for the "right color" balloon. Then half way through the process of making a wild hat, or an out of proportion giraffe, they stop, and hold up a monstrosity that inevitably looks like a prop on an adult film set. Hey, if I wanted my kid to see a dildo, I'd have them take a longer look at you balloon jockey.

That being said, "Wife" and I will be taking "Daughter" to our local pub later today to let her soak up a little of her heritage while her old man soaks up a little of his motherland's liquid exports. What better way for a child to learn their history than by listening to depressing music,
eating pickled meats and watching adults drink beer and try to kiss each other because they have a silly button on their chest? I wish I were that kid. To be honest, I'm really looking forward to seeing a few of the bands today. I get a thrill out of bagpipe music and for my money, you can't beat a tin whistle.

Since we all know that timing is everything, today is also the day that senior citizens can start riding public transportation for free in Illinois. That's perfect. I can't tell you how many times I've been out on St. Patrick's Day and had the blarney scared out of me by some elderly driver who had pounded a few too many green beers having mistaken them for some type of healthy tonic. Now we can load all the hopped up seniors onto the trains and let the government take them home.

I just realized that all the time I've spent writing could have been spent in the lab perfecting my "Black and Tan" pour. There is a skill to keeping the two beers perfectly separated and I am nothing if not a perfectionist. I'll spend the better part of the day on my experiments. The good thing is, unlike cancer research or other things that really matter, even if I make a mistake, it tastes good.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Later....Brian