The Cold Is Coming, The Cold Is Coming!
Panic is setting in throughout the Chicago area today. There have been no terrorist threats, the only recent UFO sightings have been down South (which really shouldn't surprise us) and the Governor is not offering free mass transit rides to space dwelling, terrorist, senior citizens. No, the cause of the panic is the impending arrival of ...wait for it...cold weather.
The weather monkeys who populate the local media are calling for a whopping two days of sub zero temps and unholy wind chill readings and the populous is getting their long johns in a bunch. I know, freezing temperatures in January, in Chicago, does this signal the end of time? If you believe the weather monkeys, yes indeedy!
We're all being told to take measures to protect ourselves and our loved ones from the frigid climate. Oh no! Whatever will I do? Please weather monkey, give me helpful tips. Stay in the house. Got it. Wear a coat? That's a novel thought. I had already laid out my halter top and gaucho pants for tomorrow, but I guess I can throw on a coat. Remember that heat escapes from my head so I should wear a hat. OK, but then where will all my cartoon frustration be released? Should I check on my elderly neighbors? I can't. They're all out riding the buses for free. Thanks Governor. Now the streets will be littered with seniorcicles. I'm just going to pull my grill inside and fire it up to keep warm. That's no good? Thank God for the weather monkeys. I would surely perish if not for their timely and informative tips.
Here's a weather tip for you. It's January. Suck it up and do everything you can to stay warm. Simple huh? I'm off to burn my furniture. I know the thermostat would be a saner way to control the temperature of the house, but I'm crazy with fear.
If you can thaw out long enough to turn on your radio, don't miss another exciting installment of the big WGN show late Saturday night. I'm going to be visited by the "Insatiable Insomniacs" and we'll play the "Tri-Bond Challenge" during the "Overnight Arcade". Sounds fun, right? We may even talk about eating raccoons. Now that's good radio. Have a great weekend. Stay warm. Later...Brian
posted by Brian Noonan @ 10:59 AM
1 Comments:
It's the same in RI. People have gotten used to global warming and it's so sad. Sure, it's nice to have a day once in a while where we don't have to be so bundled up that we can't see one another's faces. But yep, it's January, aka Winter. Winter, at least in my life, has traditionally been a time for snow and ice and ice skating and snowball fights and building snowmen and wearing beautiful and comfy sweaters and down coats and curling up by the fire with a favorite blanket and a steaming cup of cocoa. It's snuggle weather, for pete's sake! Who wouldn't appreciate snuggle weather?
Summer is too hot and humid for snuggling. I appreciate the cold weather for so many reasons.
But we're living in a new age. The age of insanity. *shrug*
I'll say a few prayers and then I'll turn on your show this weekend. I'll be listening. I'll probably be quiet but I'll be out here wearing my sweats and my slippers and my Grumpy robe (it's very warm but it has Grumpy's face all over it! LOL).
Rant on, Brian Noonan. Rant on!
:-)
Post a Comment
<< Home