Climb In The Hand Basket

Things seem to be getting very dicey in this country. There, that pretty much sums up the last week or so doesn't it? While the world has been watching and worrying about the potential financial ruin of the United States, Chicago Cubs fans have been debating a proposed alcohol ban during big games, John McCain is "suspending" his candidacy and I have been putting out a hit on a vocal chord vandal.

I won't even begin to analyze the financial crisis. Me talking about money is like a fish talking about desert living. Like a lot of people, I'm lucky to have enough money to get by. Bad planning? probably, but high finance was never part of my career path. I do have money in a bank though, and hearing about all the failures is starting to worry me. Who's to blame? That's an important question, but one that can be answered later. First, some big brained financial gurus, the "masters of the universe" need to figure out how to fix the problem. Meetings are going on in Washington to discuss a bail out, which in theory seems to go against the basic "survival of the fittest" capitalist agenda, until you realize the effect a financial collapse would have. I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in a box car Tom Joad style while singing a bad version of Brother Can You Spare A Dime. I'm afraid if the news doesn't get any better, we'll all be rushing to our banks to get our cash only to hear the young, frightened teller, inform us George Bailey style "You're money's not here. It's in his house and his house and his house." If that happens I'll have to push someone into the pool under the gym floor when I go to the Harvest Moon Dance.

On the local front, Chicago Mayor Richard "Daddy" Daley wants bars surrounding Wrigley Field to voluntarily suspend liquor sales after the seventh inning of a clinching game. I'm sorry. I didn't realize all the other problems in the city were fixed so that the government could once again fill the role of our parents. This is the dumbest idea since I used the finance/fish analogy. The theory is that stopping liquor sales will curb fans desires to celebrate in a destructive manor if and when the Cubs win a league championship or, dare it be written, the World Series. Bad idea. Have you ever been around a group of drunks who are forced to stop drinking for a couple hours? The buzz starts to wear off and moods turn sour. I'm much more inclined to turn over a taxi and torch it when I'm slightly hung over then when I'm in full tilt booziness and looking for a burrito. I'm no financial genius as I've already established, but does the mayor really think that bar owners will "voluntarily" give up alcohol sales during peak hours? Sure they will, and I'll be going vegan next week.

On the really local front, I went under the knife yesterday to have a polyp removed from my vocal chord. Listeners to the radio show have come to know said polyp as "Wilbur". He has been the bane of my existence for the last two months, but now the throat terrorist has been evicted and hopefully all will be well. I'll write about that in more detail later, since there was a lot to cover today. The hardest part of the situation is that I am on "voice rest" for a week. My surgeon said that he usually wants patients to observe complete silence, but for people who talk professionally he has one piece of advice, "only talk when they're paying you." That means I can do the show Saturday night but other than that I'm living like a monk who's taken an involuntary vow of silence. Good for those around me, frustrating as hell for me.

It's Friday, so that means it's plug time. Unfortunately this will only be a "one scoop of Brian weekend" on WGN. As I told you last week, management is trying some things out during the Friday night/Saturday morning shift, and I'll be on sporadically in that time slot. Thanks to all of you who have written me, and called or written the station voicing your support. I don't know if anyone other than me is listening, but rest assured, I do appreciate your efforts and kind words. Enough boo-hooing. The "original and still scheduled" WGN Overnight Sat/Sun edition will be chock full of fun and information from 1-5 am. We'll be having Wilbur's funeral, the debut of my first parody song, we'll talk politics with Stephen Caliendo from RaceProject.org and stress with Dr. Fatima Kahn. All that and the "Overnight Arcade" too. Will I have a voice? Will I sound the same? Will I still be on the air? Tune in and find out. Have a great weekend! Later...Brian