Monday Madness

I have so much on my mind today it's hard to focus. I got home from Toledo yesterday. It was a good week. The shows went well, people bought CD's and I had a few Manhattens. The only real downfall was Friday night at the late show when some slack jawed yokels were having a hard time understanding sarcasm. They may have been having trouble understanding English for all I know. I couldn't make out any of their alcohol slurred ramblings. I guess that's why they call it work. Sometimes things go well and other times you have to break a sweat.

My wife, "Wife" was very excited to watch the red carpet coverage of the Screen Actors Guild Awards last night. I don't understand our fascination with all things celebrity. Except for the chance of a wardrobe malfunction, I don't see the point. I'm a member of SAG and I vote in the awards, but I still don't care. I hate seeing these people show up and take themselves so seriously. You're an actor. You entertain people. That's a cool enough gig. Be happy and don't think that we need to hear your opinions on world issues.

I believe that there is a special ring of hell reserved for Ryan Seacrest. I think he's holding Dick Clark hostage until he is the host of every lame countdown show or event on TV. This guy couldn't be more plastic if he were a shrinky dink. Come to think of it he's about that size. When he's interviewing people, it looks like a chapter out of Gulliver's travels. I guess the world needs top of the line ass kissers, I'm glad I don't have to take the job. I read that he had Kathy Griffen banned from the red carpet because she had said something mean about him. Listen pee wee, the whole world is saying mean stuff about you, you're just not high enough to hear us. Get step stool. Noonan out! Later....Brian