In The News

What a day. There is so much going on in the world that I felt an obligation to type about it. Let's start wide and narrow down our focus. Pencils up. Ready? Begin.

On the world stage, Saddam Hussein is back in court today. If it wasn't for the fact that he's a blood thirsty dictator that is accused of genocide, I'd love this guy. He's like somebody's drunk grandpa in court. No matter what charges are thrown at him, Saddam denies them and then attacks the court. Today he accused the new Shiite-run Interior Ministry of killing thousands of Iraqis. When the judge told him to be quiet Saddam told the judge, "you might be afraid of the Interior minister, but he doesn't scare my dog." Yesterday he said he would cut off somebody's ears and thumbs. I love crazy! This guy still calls himself the president of Iraq. Yeah, and I'm the arch-duke of Hooters. I can't wait for him to start using the "I know you are but what am I" defense. To quote the great Ari Gold of "Entourage", Saddam is going to "spin right off this planet."

A little closer to home, the Deputy Press Secretary for the US Department of Homeland Security was arrested as part of a sex sting operation in Florida. He faces charges of trying to seduce someone he thought was a 14 year old girl. Authorities came right to his door in Maryland while he was chatting up this undercover officer. Stone cold busted! Brian Doyle is a 55 year old man who now is making his reservation on the express train to hell. This freak made no secret of who he was when he started talking to the agents/girl. Feel secure yet? It's great to know that government official are so forthcoming with private information when they get a hard-on. How long before some crazy terrorist takes off his head dress and puts on some cyber pony tails to jerk intel out of another pervert. This may sound like the weak plot of a B movie, but I like to let my imagination run wild. I'm so disgusted by this story that I can't see straight. I love these sting operations. Catch all these predators and put them in a lion cage at the zoo. Let these soul-less wastes of life see what it's like to be the prey.

And finally....Katie Couric announced today that she will be leaving the "Today" show after fifteen years to go to CBS. The thing is, she's not leaving until the end of May. Now we'll be subjected to two months of good byes. Does she think she's the Who? Why such a long farewell tour? She should have just come on the show this morning and said "I'm outta here" and walked off. "See ya suckers" may have been a bit much, but you get my point. I like Katie. I didn't really care for her earlier incarnations as the plucky, spunky young reporter, but in the last few years, things have changed. Katie became a sexual dynamo. She highlighted her hair, and started wearing really short skirts and heels. Hubba hubba! Maybe it was because she lost her husband years before and was finally ready to get back in the game. I don't know, but it worked. My only concern now is that she'll be behind a desk at CBS. No legs. It's like hiding a candle under a basket. Maybe they can have her march in at the start of the broadcast.

What an update. Now I'm off to get out the Easter decorations. Yes, another round of suburban one upsmanship is set to begin. Later...Brian