I Need New Pants

Tomorrow is the big WGN "Holiday Luncheon". It is the first time I've ever had to go to a corporate Christmas (holiday) party and I want to look good. Since I work overnights at the station, a lot of people have never met me, so I want my first impression to be fabulous. That sounds a little "theatrical", but you know what I mean.

The reason I'm fixating like a teenage girl about what I'm wearing to this soiree is because I really dread having to go. As I said, I've never had to go to a company party before. Being a stand-up is like being an outlaw. There are no set places for you to go to an office party. I've been the entertainment at many Holiday parties, but it's not the same. I come in, tell my stories, get my cash and head out into the night while the sales guys try to get the receptionist into the coat room. The closest I ever got to the coat room was to stop in the lobby to count my money and make sure I didn't get stiffed. I also have always hated small talk. I'm great in front of huge groups, or over the air from a studio, but standing one on one with someone and trying to talk about the weather makes my skin crawl. Maybe it's deep seated insecurities, or maybe I'm just too cool for the room. No, it's the insecurities. I've never been a good networker either. I told some of my friends I wasn't going to the party and they just about beat me about the head and neck. They were right. The only way the rest of the station will learn of my genius is if I show up and let them bask in it's glow.

I got a great new shirt a few weeks ago and I spent today looking for the right pants. Really for me the "right" pants are a pair that fits in the correct color. I'm not worried about how the trousers hug my sweet behind because lets be honest, who is ever going to be scoping out my back yard. I always try to look snazzy for shows or parties. I got luck at the first store I went to. I was trying to choose between flat front or pleated pants. I know the cool kids are back in the flat fronts, but I have to be true to my own sense of style. The pleated ones looked better on me. They even hugged my ass a little. Hey you never can tell. I hear there will be booze at the party. It was worth the hour drive each way to find the perfect pants.

As long as I think I look good, it'll be one less thing for me to obsess over and I may even be able to enjoy the party. I'll let you know. Later...Brian