My Brain Is Thawing, Let's Dance

I'm not sure if it was the sub zero temperatures or a saccharine coma brought on by my Valentines' Day post, but my mind wasn't in gear for posting yesterday. I have spent the morning with my head under warm compresses and have emerged inspired and a bit damp.

The PC police are at it again. For the last few years, groups of do-gooders have been running all over the country trying to get teams to drop any Native American symbols as mascots for their teams. One of the first cases was against the NFL's Washington Redskins. The latest happened right in my back yard. Today it was announced that after a year of fighting, the University of Illinois would no longer have "Chief Illiniwek" appear at any of the University's athletic events, ending a tradition that has lasted over 80 years. The NCAA had deemed the Chief "hostile and abusive" and prohibited the school from hosting any post season championships.

OK, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not Native American, but I don't get this at all. Except for "Redskin', which I understand is a slur, I can't see how the representation of a chief doing a dance is hostile or abusive. You don't see me calling the ACLU because Notre Dame has a drunken leprechaun as the "Fighting Irish" mascot. I think that could be considered a lot more offensive than the depiction of a courageous Indian brave, or a tribal chief doing a "war dance" to rally the team. Sometimes the truth hurts. The Irish drink and fight, Indians have been known to do a dance and, in extreme case, use a tomahawk chop on an unfortunate cavalry soldier or pioneer.

We all just need to lighten up a little. I'm not saying it's OK to have a team mascot that is overtly offensive, but if we look hard enough, any mascot could be hostile and abusive. Let's look at a few shall we? These are in no particular order and there are no connections to specific schools, I'm just going off the top of my head.

-Crusaders. Sure they discovered new worlds, but they raped, pillaged and plundered all the places they found.

-Ravens. Birds of prey that pick over the dead bodies of their kill. Eeewwweeee, that's hostile.

-Bears. Carnivorous beasts that can kill a man with one swipe of their razor sharp claws, also know thieves when picnic baskets are concerned.

-Buccaneers, Pirates, Titans, Vikings. See "Crusaders", only amp up the looting etc.

Do I need to go on? The only other really offensive name I could think of was Packers. I'll let you figure it out. The point is, if you really want to, you can be offended by anything. Why not save your indignation for things that are really important, like figuring out if Zsa Zsa's crazy prince of a husband really bumped uglies with Anna Nicole and exactly how many candidates for paternity had their genetic material swimming around in her baby cauldron. I think the Pope and myself are the only ones not tossing our names and other parts into the ring. Now that's offensive!

Don't forget to tune into the big show Saturday night/Sunday morning on WGN from 1-5 am. I don't know what's going to be on yet, but it's always good and rarely "hostile and abusive". Have a great weekend. Later..Brian