What? No Catchy Title?

I wasn't able to tie the two things I wanted to write about neatly together under one heading. Sometimes two things need to be addressed, but are so far removed that even someone with my cognitive skills and unparalleled wit must accept defeat and move on. Go ahead you try to connect them. The two locales are Miami and a field in Pennsylvania.

Today is Groundhog's Day. What started as an obscure German superstition has grown into an annual party in the small burg of Punxsutawney, Pa. A few hours ago "Punxsutawney Phil" popped his rodent head out of his hole, searched for his shadow, didn't see it and was then scooped up by a guy dressed like a vintage London carriage driver. According to legend, Phil not seeing his shadow means that Spring will arrive a little earlier this year. Over 1,500 people came to watch Phil's prediction. Those are 1,500 people who need something better to do. They're in Pennsylvania, don't they need to busy themselves growing bushy mustaches, paying high speeding fines on their turnpikes, eating "shoo- fly" pie with the Amish, or learning to pronounce the letter "r"? I guess listening to a groundhog for your weather forecast isn't that much different from watching the news every night. The "meteorologists" aren't much more accurate and they have radar assistance. At least Phil goes back in his hole when he's done.

My favorite part of Groundhog's Day is hearing news anchors say where the event takes place. Some chicken out and just say the name of the town, but some throw caution to the wind and proclaim the name of the specific location. "Gobbler's Knob" is where Phil actually resides. If you didn't at least smile when you read Gobbler's Knob, then something is wrong with you. Gobbler's Knob. I can't stop typing it. Sure it's juvenile. Gobbler's Knob. I love when self important, respected news people have to say things that make them uncomfortable or things that are slightly risque that they just don't understand. Gobbler's Knob. It was great when the anchors had to keep saying "penis" during the whole Clinton scandal. Gobbler's Knob. What am I, six?

The other big event this weekend is the Super Bowl. I don't know if you heard anything about it since coverage has been a little slim. If the Bears were not involved, I wouldn't be paying attention to the endless stories coming out of Miami. Now, I can't get enough. Some people are saying that all the hype and the non-stop coverage is overkill. No way! I need to know the color of Thomas Jones new Ferrari, what Brian Urlacher ate for his mid-morning snack and how many times Rex Grossman Googled "Gobbler's Knob". It's been a long time since the Bears have been to the big dance, so let's belly up to the media trough and enjoy all the empty calories. I'm part of the media onslaught too. Stay up late Saturday night and listen to the big show on WGN from 1-5 am. We'll have a live report form Miami which will be mui caliente, we'll also be playing Bears Trivia during the "Overnight Arcade" at 2 and who knows what else. You can sleep when you're dead.

Have you figured out a way to tie the two together yet? Maybe it's this. The Bears will treat the Colts like the rodents in a "Whack A Mole" game. Rodent symmetry, get it? I know it's a stretch, but oh well. Have a great weekend. GO BEARS! Gobbler's Knob. Brian