I'm Ready For My Close-up

I'm very excited today. I'm about to embark on a new adventure. From time to time, clubs that I'm working ask for video tapes for promo purposes and new bookers want to see them so they can sit in cramped offices and cast judgment on talent that they themselves will never posses. That's a bitter rant for another time however. Today is a day of looking forward.

I taped my shows in Milwaukee last week and for the first time, got tapes I can actually use. Normally, whenever I try to tape a show, something bad happens. Either there is a heckler, no audience response or I fall down. This time the stars aligned and I'm ready to send out great tapes. Problem is, it's 2006 and now everybody wants things on DVD. Time to do battle with the techno-monster again.

Today I bought software that will allow me to download and edit my digital video on the computer. After stressing to the guy at Best Buy that I needed something a monkey could understand, I left with a program, firewire and discs. I know it seems odd that a guy who can barely type is now preparing to be a cyber Spielberg, but stranger things have happened. I'll let you know how it turns out.

I realized again that I really need to watch what I say in certain situations. After Best Buy I was in the drive through at the bank. I was talking to "Wife" on the phone and sending my money through the very cool Jetson-like pneumonic tube. I was joking that now "Wife" and I could make some home made porn and I could edit in fun effects, when the speaker crackled with "Ok, well...Thank you." I forgot that the teller was listening. I looked over and she was staring at me with a horrified look. I can just hear her now. "The guy at the drive through wants me to be in a porno. " I'm sure one look at my balance will deter her. Later...Brian