Whadda Yamin He's Gone?

Last week in an act of self incrimination I railed against the American public for voting gravel voiced rocker Chris Daughtry off "American Idol". Since I don't have a lot of time today, and I was deeply affected last night, I'll sound off again.

What the hell is wrong with you America? There, I got that off my chest. Last night in "one of the closest votes in Idol history", Elliott Yamin was sent packing. This bothers me for a number of reasons. First I had Elliott in an A.I. pool, so him going home cost me 150 bucks. Don't think I won't remember this America. Somebody owes me, and like Henry Hill said in "Good Fellas", "F--- You! Pay me." The other reason is that I really think he was one of the two best singers left in the competition. Why do I care so much? It's a slow news day.

I have to admit I was skeptical of Yamin at first. He had some ghetto fabulous shaved haircut that made him look like a monkey. He looked like a late model Vanilla Ice with a razor shaped beard and bad teeth. I had to close my eyes when he sang. When I did though, I was treated to an old school soul crooner. Leave it to television to take control. As the series wore on, Elliott was transformed from singing monkey to monkey suited singer. The style department descended on Yamin faster than you could say "Damn, that dude's ugly." Finally the look started to match the voice. "Wife" could never get past Yamin's mug, plus, she lacks the swerve to be down with blue eyed soul music.

I'm savvy to how TV can distort things, but in the same breath, Elliott seemed like a decent guy. He also had a great back story. Counter clerk at a pharmacy struggles to find his way and when given the chance overcomes his simian looks to become loved by America. (just not enough of America.) He took his mom everywhere with him and said he was "blessed " to be able to share it with her. (Just a side bar. Looks wise, the apple didn't fall far from the tree.) I found myself unnaturally moved watching Yamin return to his hometown and seeing the out pouring of support he received. Does that make my life empty? No! It makes you a soulless jerk for mocking me. That's my job.

So Yamin is gone. Only Taylor and Katherine remain. I'm officially now a member of the "soul patrol." Shut up, I mean it. "Wife" hates Kat because she beat her boy Chris and now cost us money. I can hardly wait until next week. In a final act of self incrimination, I'll tell you this. We voted this week. I'm so lonely. Later....Brian