An Embarrassment Of Riches

WARNING: Today's post, while hopefully hilarious deals with ADULT CONTENT. If you are easily offended, sexually repressed, or just don't have a sense of humor, click away now and come back tomorrow. If you're still here, I warned you.

A 24 year old businessman from New Dehli is about to undergo surgery to remove his second penis. Yeah, you read that right, second penis. The man is "suffering" from a rare condition called diphallus, which translated from Latin means "Dude look, I have two cranks." Now don't be fooled, this second penis ( and I think this will be the most times the word penis is used in one of my posts ever) is not just a small growth, hanging chad of skin or mole like protuberance, it is a fully functional piece of man meat. The unnamed man says he wants the offending phallus removed so he can get married and have a normal sex life. Really? Look around man. Lot's of guys are married and have normal sex lives, and they're miserable. You have a chance to, as Bill Shatner used to say, "boldly go where no man has gone before."

Sure, I know there is a freak factor to this. I can only imagine the response he gets when he unleashes a double helping of tube steak on an unsuspecting lady. Maybe having an extra love club wouldn't be the easiest condition to handle, (Ha! I said handle) but I don't think he should be in such a rush to become normal. Think of all the crazy things a man with two schlongs could do. I'm sure there are some really horny gals that would welcome a second pole without having to deal with an entire second man. That's one less sandwich she'd have to make when everything is done. Having a second bologna pony would allow for various sexual positions to be done at the same time, and it would give your left hand something to do during your "private time" so that "lefty" wouldn't feel left out. Sure, it may feel like you're milking a cow, but as the Doublemint twins used to say, "double you're pleasure, double you're fun." Having two trouser snakes would also speed up the draining process during a long night of drinking. Two lines, no waiting. Think of all the bar bets he could win by setting up targets in different urinals and hitting them at the same time. The mind boggles.

The only downside I can see is that if it's true, as most women believe, that men think with their smaller head, then this poor guy would always be out voted. Maybe he doesn't want to go home with the hideous girl at the end of the bar who's trimming her mustache over a white wine spritzer. Too bad double dick, the vote is two to one.

I think I'm done. If I were to go any further, I'd probably frighten myself. Tomorrow I'm sure there will be something to talk about that we can share in mixed company. Come to think of it, this guy would be great at sharing. Remember your teachers used to say, "If you didn't bring enough for the class, put it away." This guy brings enough for the entire cheerleading squad. Make his a double. Later...Brian