Hi I'm Brian

I don't have much time today. I'm about to go don my semi-gay apparel for the company Christmas party. They're not calling it a Christmas party though. In these politically correct times, we are being treated to a "Holiday Luncheon". I guess that takes the Christmas pressure off the event. It also rendered my Santa hat and mistletoe belt buckle obsolete for the gathering. It's probably for the best. All I need is to have a couple of egg nogs and start doing holiday themed pelvic thrusts.

I'm practicing my small talk. Making usless conversation has never been one of my strong suits. My small talk experience in the past was limited to trying to pick up girls in bars, so I have to rethink my lines. Somehow, I don't think our G.M. will be impressed when I tell him his suit looks nice but it will look better at the end of my bed. Maybe I'll tell him I wish I could rewrite the alphabet so I could "put U and I together". It truly is a miracle I was ever able to attract a woman.

I'll give you a full account of the hoopla tomorrow. I hope your plans for the holidays are coming along nicely. It's amazing how much more I'm enjoying the season now that the house is decorated. A rare feeling of calm has encompassed me. I'm sure it won't last. Hey look at the time. I've gotta go. Where did I put those reindeer boxer shorts? Later...Brian