I'm BAAACCKKK!

Where the hell have I been? Did you even know I was gone? Did you miss me? Am I too needy? Why am I so inquisitive? I took the last couple weeks off from this forum and I wish I could give you a definitive reason why. Laziness is the first thing that pops to mind, but I can't lay all the blame at the feet of my favorite of the deadly sins. Sloth can only take you so far. Actually sloth prevents you from going anywhere. I guess I could blame some of the other deadly sins, but to tell you that I was being gluttonous while lusting after a woman and envying her man's hold on her, all the while greedily chasing the almighty dollar and then unleashing my wrath on the object of my lust would seem sad. I'm too filled with pride to admit to something like that. No, what I think happened was a simple case of writer's block. There was a lot going on around here, and I just couldn't clear my head enough for even a marginally good idea to squeeze in. If I couldn't give you something on par with my past gems, then I didn't want to give you anything at all. Pride, remember? That might be my second favorite "deadly".

So what has pulled the proverbial thumb out of the proverbial dike? The world yanked it out. I felt helpless sitting on the sidelines when all around me the hand basket was loading up for a cruise on the river Styx. Britney attacks a defenseless SUV with a stylish bumbershoot then claims she's the devil while in rehab, James brown and Anna Nicole finally get to take their dirt naps, and the Oscars come and go without my keen analysis. Not to mention the fact that Chicago is trying to get the 2016 Olympics, I'm having facial hair issues and people of below average intelligence continue to vex me.

Man, there's good stuff to write about everywhere. I think the blockage has passed like a swallowed condom through a drug mule. My eyes are open, my batteries recharged and my anger level is high. So as David Letterman is fond of saying, "Wake the kids, phone the neighbors" I'm back.

Don't worry, I know I'm deluding myself to think that this matters. See favorite sin #2. Later...Brian