Are You Surprised?

I think it's common knowledge that the rules and laws that you and I are expected to follow don't apply to the rich or famous. We've seen it countless times, some celebrity spouts off to a cop, he goes to rehab. If I do that I'm tazed, kicked, and then dropped off in the "wrong" neighborhood. An actress is photographed "allegedly" doing cocaine, no big deal. A former football great nearly cuts off his ex-wife's head and kills a waiter and his only punishment is a later tee time. I thought things might be changing a little when the vacant Paris Hilton was sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating her probation and driving on a suspended license. I thought the times they were a changin', but I thought wrong.

After surrendering herself late Sunday night, Paris began her time in the hoosegow. Initial reports were that the shallow heiress was having a hard time. Really? Jail is hard? Who knew? She didn't like the food, couldn't sleep and said her cell was too cold and her bed was too hard. Listen Little Red Riding Slut you're supposed to be miserable. It's called punishment. I know that to you it would have been punishment enough to be put in a Holiday Inn instead of the Four Seasons, but this is how real folks roll. Now eat your baloney sandwich, drink your fruit punch and shut up. Here's a thought, think about what a spoiled ass you are and pledge to do better.

That would have been a great rant, except for the fact that this morning Paris was "reassigned" from the jail to home confinement. Authorities claimed that their were "medical reasons" for allowing Paris to be sent home with an ankle bracelet. Sure there were. She was sick of being in jail. Is that medical enough for you? As usual, if you're a celebrity and you whine loud enough, you'll get your way. "I don't like this food. I had to use my blanket as a pillow. I don't know how to dial a pay phone. I wanna go home." OK Miss Hilton...right away boss. What a crock. I bet if you asked any of the other women in that jail if they found the accommodations suitable you would have received a resounding "F**k You!" But seeing as those women weren't heirs to a hotel fortune or amateur porn stars, they get to sit in the day room until they do their time.

Some people are saying that being confined to her home will be punishment enough for Paris. Man, if I ever break the law, send me to that jail. I'm sure Paris won't be holed up in some studio apartment in the Valley. She's going home to her swanky digs with her big TV, servants and four star restaurants that deliver. I'm sure she'll be giving a lot of thought to her errant ways as she chows down on some freshly delivered sushi from Nobu. Hell, if that's how criminals get treated, I may do a little drunk driving myself tonight. Oh wait, I'm just a regular guy. The rules apply to me. Later...Brian