You Want To Cut Off His What?

Some of us have a slip of the tongue and it goes unnoticed. Sometimes our gaffes are a little more flagrant and we catch a bit of heat from our family, friends or the recipient of said gaffe. Sometimes we are on TV and say something so crazy that the entire world recoils like they've just seen a naked Dick Cheney and gasps "what did he just say?"

Such is the case for Jesse Jackson. The never one to shy away from a microphone activist was appearing on TV to talk about faith based charities alongside Reed Tuxon of the United Health Care Group. At some point there was a break in the interview and Jackson tilted his noggin' ever so slightly toward Tuxon and whispered out of the the side of his mouth (yes, only one side which is unusual for the Reverend) "Sen. Barack has been talkin' down to black people over this faith based... I wanna cut his nuts off." Wait! What? I know, I saw the tape and just typed the words and I still can't wrap my head around it. Let me go back and watch the tape again. Yeah, I heard it right. Jesse Jackson said he wanted to cut off Barack Obama's nuts. It's like I'm watching a well dressed episode of OZ. No, not the movie with Judy Garland, the HBO prison drama where hardened criminals do horrible things like....well...cut off each other's nuts.

After the tape aired, Jackson released a statement calling the incident a "hot mic private conversation" and that his "support for Sen. Obama's campaign is wide, deep and unequivocal." He may have also said he wanted to make Bill O'Reilly his bitch, but I can't prove it.

Who's he trying to kid? There's nobody short of the Maytag repairman who has been on TV more than Jesse Jackson. If a kid doesn't eat a black Good'N'Plenty, he's on the case, so it's a little disingenuous of him to claim he thought the mic was off. You've got to figure the mics are live until you're in your car headed to Home Depot for the clippers you're planning on using for your amateur castration. Then to say his support is "unequivocal"? Obama's harshest critics have never expressed nut lust like this. I have yet to hear Rush Limbaugh or any of the "vast right wing conspiracy" express a desire to separate Sen. Obama from his manberries. If that's what Jackson calls support, give me a detractor any time. Jackson also said he "cherished this redemptive and historical moment." He may cherish it, but he sure went out of his way to sully it. In his defense, Reverend Jackson said he "cherished the moment". He expressed no undying affinity for the Senator's family jewels.

As of this writing, there has been no response from Sen. Obama. He's probably in hiding until he can hire a special security force to surround his nether region. Perhaps the Secret service needs to employ a brigade of midgets to protect the Senator from the waist down. They should check the availability of the Lollipop Guild. Those guys don't play. Barack might be out buying an athletic supporter with a cup, just in case the Reverend slips past security with a pair of pinking shears in his pocket and a heart full of bad intent. Just think, we still have four more months until the election. Watch your nards. Later...Brian