I Can't See Clearly Now

My eyes have been a little blurry lately. I'm used to my memory being a tad fuzzy, but I take great pride in my ability to see. If you need to be proud of something, I guess vision is as good a reason as any. My near hawk-like vision has been the stuff of legend among friends of mine. It seemed as though I was equipped with Steve Austin's bionic eye. I could read signs from miles away, even going as far as reading signs that hadn't even been written yet. This gift seems to be intact, it's close up that's giving me a problem.

I know I'm getting older, but I figured that I would cheat the gods of vision and go my whole life without using spectacles. I noticed a few weeks ago, that I was having trouble reading my map and that my arms weren't quite long enough to enable me to enjoy the newspaper. Being as fond as I am of close up magic and slight of hand, I knew I needed my peepers checked.

"Wife" was kind enough to make me an appointment. She knew I never would, but that I would continue to whine about my deteriorating vision until I was like Daredevil in need of a special cane. I know my dogs wouldn't guide me, hell, they can hardly find their own way around. I sat down across from the optometrist, who ironically, was easy on the eyes. (Sorry "Wife", it just fit here so well.) She ran the battery of tests. I had the puff of air in the eye, the which is clearer test, and the your eyes are so dreamy gaze. After all this, I was told that all I needed to do was get some reading glasses over the counter. Relief and horror at the same time. Now I have to go to Walgreen's and battle the geezers for some stylish eyewear. I will have to go under the cover of darkness. I will give in a little to the ravages of age, but hanging with granny trying on bifocals is too much to ask. See Ya! Later...Brian