Do You Have A Heart On?

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. To some it is a day devoted to love and romance. To the more cynical among us it is a day to get overcharged for wilted flowers, pay extra for chocolate just because it is jammed in a heart shaped foil box and pour more money into the coffers of Hallmark and local restaurateurs who think that a red candle on the table is reason enough to double the price on their special "Menu for Lovers". It's been my experience that a "Lover's Menu" leaves one too full of oysters, fillet and chocolate lava cake to practice the fine art of whoopee. Talk about a waste of money. I get the same results from a frozen pizza and a few bottles of suds and I don't have the buyers remorse because I wasted thirty bucks on a new pair of heart and cupid embossed silk boxers.

I tend to favor the cynical side of the equation. I understand the history of the day and even fall prey to some of the sentiment, but it all feels a bit forced to me. Will "Wife" be swayed by my declarations of love tomorrow, knowing that I knew I had to make them? Probably not, but I'm not risking the wrath of the forgotten by letting the day slip by. I try to be a little more creative than the average smitten slob when it comes to Valentine's Day. There won't be any flowers or chocolate. Too cliche. I am smart enough to know that I need to avoid any household products or gifts that scream "wow, Brian would love this." "What about some frilly dainties?" you may ask. No chance. I learned long ago that my taste in undies and "Wife's" are worlds apart. I don't think I'm the only guy who thought he knew that inside his lovely wife lurked the soul of a wanton floozy only to discover that some fantasies are better kept to one's self. I didn't even know she was allergic to latex.

Fellas, whatever you decide to do, do something. It may not matter to you, but believe me, despite arguments to the contrary, it matters to her.

Here's a little radio bulletin. I won't be doing my usual Friday night/Saturday morning show tonight. Instead I'll be on WGN from 9-12 noon Saturday morning. I'll be co-hosting with Dan Deibet. We paired up a couple of weeks ago for a show and it went very well. Tomorrow should be a lot of fun, and it will give all the people who told me they couldn't listen because they sleep during my show a chance to listen. I'll be back later tomorrow night for the big WGN Overnight show from 1-5 am. I hope you can listen, we have a lot of things on tap. Have a great weekend Happy Valentine's Day. Later...Brian