They Call Me ......Mr. Noonan

The life of a low profile, major market radio personality is an exciting one. Days spent looking for interesting material to talk about on the shows, hours combing the Internet for oddities that may inform or entertain the masses, trying to figure out what to have for lunch. (Pepper and egg sandwich today. It's a Friday in Lent) You can see that my schedule is quite crammed with adventure, so it may come as some surprise to you that i have added another title to my vast resume. Teacher. To be more specific, long term substitute teacher.

The more cynical among you may see this as a mere money making venture, while the alarmists are sure to be thinking, "Oh God! He's molding the minds of children?" I scoff at all of you. You know me. I'm all about giving back to the community and I adore children. That may be a little stretch, but to be honest, I needed something else to do that wouldn't interfere with my other responsibilities and subbing fits perfectly. Plus, now I can enjoy some fine lunchroom food. Nothing says fine dining like a chicken patty, tater tots and pears washed down with lukewarm milk.

I had subbed on and off at various times. It's not a bad gig. If you want to work, you answer the phone if a district calls you. If not, you don't. My new position is a set three days with the option of picking up others if needed. The pay is good and it's close to home, so I can still fulfill my duties as "Daughter's" chauffeur, chief cook and bottle washer and scullery maid at the house as well as giving me plenty of time to develop my highly researched and wonderfully amusing radio programs.

The schools I'm teaching in are , let's see if I can be diplomatic here, struggling. No smarty pants, the fact that I'm teaching there isn't the reason. To say these schools are in "the hood" would be an understatement. It's a very urban setting right in the heart of suburbia. Anyone who doesn't think there is a discrepancy in our education system, hasn't been in too many schools lately. The facilities are run down and dirty, and some of the staff are a bit burned out. It's tough being a sub too. You remember the attention you' pay a substitute teacher. Even when I was in school, the sub garnered as much respect as a babysitter. We'd always try to get one over on them. That hasn't changed, but it seems that we used to have some level of fear that kept us from openly challenging even a substitute teacher. That level of fear is gone.

Not all, or even most of the kids I've come across have the confrontational attitude. Most seem like nice kids who want to learn, but are in a tough situation. The fact that I will see them every week will remove the more temporary feel of my appearances. I'm still in the "Don't mess with me" phase with most of them. I know children aren't like dogs, but one of the things I've learned from a few teachers is that you need to show them who's the pack leader right away. Yes, I admit, pinning one kid to the ground with my teeth on his neck might have seemed extreme, but the others fell in line and there is always a newspaper on my desk. I'll share more of my stories from the blackboard jungle as this journey continues.

Now a little plug for my primary gig. This weekend promises more "Radio Irreverence" on WGN Overnight. Tonight/Sat. morning catch the "big show" from 2-5 am. I'll be talking to a job expert and trying to help you if you're out of work with tips on resumes, where to look etc. We'll also be talking Chicago movies and more. Sat. Sun from 1-5 am will feature more hot talk and silliness melded into four hours of fun. I hope you can join me if you're working, sleepless or a lover of fine broadcasting. Hopefully you're all three or an insomniac. have a great weekend! Later...Brian