Giving In To The Hysteria

I'm typing this while wearing rubber gloves and a surgical mask, sitting in a pressurized bubble. No, I'm not emulating the late King of Pop, I'm trying to avoid an invisible killer that is sweeping the nation. There is a Swine Flu epidemic running roughshod over this great land and I'll be dammed if I let myself fall victim to this mutated virus.

If I sound a bit dramatic, it's because I've been listening to everyone from "Wife", health care professionals and assorted news monkeys tell me that unless I'm vaccinated, douse myself in anti-bacterial sanitizer and keep an acceptable "social distance" from anyone with a slight cough I will be struck down. The Swine Flu, (or do you get all highfalutin' and say H1N1?) began appearing last Spring. The news monkeys attempted to spread panic, but the flu petered out and they had to move on to other fears that needed mongering. Last month, new cases of the flu began popping up and unfortunately, the news monkeys got a bit luckier this time around. More people are dying from flu related illness, and to make matters worse, a lot of the victims are children. I'm all for Nature thinning the herd, but I tend to pay more attention when Mother nature sets her sights on the kids.

I have gone my entire life without getting a flu shot. It could be because I don't cotton to voodoo medicine, I'm afraid of needles, or I am a world class procrastinator who usually gets around to thinking about a vaccination after flu season is over. Whatever the reason, I have chosen to laugh in the face of disease, drink a lot more orange juice and hope for the best. I can't turn a deaf ear this year however. The choruses of fear that are being sung far and wide have grabbed me by the short hairs and yanked me to attention. I gave in. Yesterday I went and got my flu shot.

I've been substitute teaching again and am surrounded by little mucus machines. I'm no germophobe, but watching these walking petri dishes spew their fluids to and fro raised a concern in me that I hadn't experienced before. Adults are constantly telling these miniature Typhoid Marys to sneeze into their elbow, wash their hands and throw out tissues, but I've witnessed more flying fluid than at a "Key Party" circa 1976.

I went to my regular doctor to get the shot. I see shots being offered everywhere, but call me old fashioned, I enjoy my vaccinations in a medical facility, not down the aisle from Twinkies and support hose. The vaccination was delivered without a hitch, but as soon as I left the office, I felt achy and feverish. "Wife" said I was being a hypochondriac, I said I had been dosed with a bad vaccine. She may have been right, since today I'm fine.

Thank goodness I am, since with the weekend comes two doses of "Radio Irreverence" on WGN. I'm billing the show as 98% virus free. I don't have any data to back that up, but since I can't infect you through your radio or on the web, I think we're safe. We'll be discussing a wide variety of topics (Vague? Yes, but things are still being put in place.) I can tell you that we'll be playing Dracula Trivia on the Arcade Sunday morning at 2. I hope you'll join the fun. If you're suffering from the flu, think how my special brand of crazy will enhance your fever dreams. Have a great weekend. Later...Brian