The Gloves Are Too Big

For the second time in a week, astronauts working on the international space station have dropped a bolt while making repairs during a space walk. At first I didn't think this was a big deal. Then I read that space debris can puncture walls, jam mechanisms and maybe even poke someone's eye out. I always thought things adrift in space just floated gently around. That's what you get when all your space knowledge comes from Star Trek re-runs.

A Canadian astronaut (who knew? I thought it was just syrup and hockey up there) told mission control that he was removing the cover to some joint when one of the four bolts just "disappeared". That's the space equivalent of the dog ate my homework. I wonder if the scene resembled the on in my favorite holiday movie, "A Christmas Story". You remember. Ralphie is helping his crusty but lovable dad change a flat tire. Ralphie has been entrusted with the hubcap bearing the lug nuts. Whether he was bumped, had a spasm, or was shot at from the grassy knoll is up for debate, but Ralphie dropped the lug nuts, emitting the "mother of all swear words". I wonder if that happened to the space Mountie. In space, no one can hear you curse.

I sympathize with the space walking moose jockey. Who of us hasn't dropped something while trying to do an allegedly simple project around the house? For me, even the most mundane task is rife with horrible possibilities. I have dropped countless amounts of those tiny screws that hold switch plates on the wall. Why do they have to be so tiny? My big sausage fingers don't work that way. I'm not wearing those gigantic space gloves either. I think holding anything smaller than a Louisville Slugger with those things on would be impossible. They need to design some space gloves that are like the gloves the urchins wore in "Oliver Swift", the kind with the fingers cut out for easy space repairs.

The maple leaf Buck Rogers must be pretty embarrassed. He said he would "keep an eye out" for he bolt on his next space amble. Come on fly boy, give it up. It's like when I drop one of those tiny screws. I look for a couple of minutes, then it's off to Home Depot and another fifty eight cent expenditure. I guess he needs to say that. His run to the hardware store might take a while. Later...Brian