Topic Stew

It's the first day of Spring and a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love, harmony and college basketball. That may be true of a young man, but for me, (a not so young, but not too old man) my thoughts are dominated by racism and hookers. How's that for the season of rebirth?

Tuesday, senator and presidential candidate Barack Obama gave a speech that many are calling the most important speech of his life. You know the details, and if you don't, shame on you. I bet you know who was kicked off American Idol last night. (It was Amanda, the "rock and roll nurse" in a travesty of American taste) It's almost impossible for anyone to discuss race without it dissolving into an argument, but Obama may have come the closest. He is able to look at the race issue from both sides, thanks to his background and was able to calmly address the anger on both sides of the debate. Would it have been easier to just sweep the issue under the rug? Sure, but that's almost as bad as the problem itself. While the speech won't fix the problem of race, maybe it will get a few people taking and give both sides some insight.

I'm a little confused as to why people are making such a big deal about Obama sticking by his friends. Last week he was asked if he considered accused felon and long time pal "Tony" Rezko a friend and this week he had to defend his friendship with Rev. Wright. People seemed shocked that Obama would still consider these guys friends or in the case of Rev. Wright, "like family" even though he didn't agree with their actions or words. What does that say about people and their view on friendship. I don't know about you, but I admire a guy who sticks by his friends. Obama isn't doing it blindly. He's not saying that everything his friends say and do is right. He even has said that if the allegations are true, he would be disappointed and that Rezko wouldn't be the man he thought he was. Obama also said that Rev. Wright said things he was vehemently opposed to, but he hasn't cut either man loose. Maybe it's just me, but that's what I thought friends did. You stick by your friends even when they do things you don't agree with. Part of being a friend is telling them when they're out of line. That character trait seems lost on the braying masses who can't wait for Obama or any candidate to dump people from their past at the first sign of trouble. Isn't that why we hate politicians, because they don't seem genuine? To me, Obama showed what kind of man he is. To paraphrase Tammy Wynette, stand by your friends.

From politics, it's not too big a leap to talking about hookers. Is anyone else tired of hearing about Ashley Dupre, the "high priced escort" who went down..er, I mean brought down the governor of New York? Why do we care? It goes to show you how hypocritical we are. Society looks down their noses at these women and their "business" but can't get enough of the details. From her stint as an escort, to her old Girls Gone Wild video, to the big ABC Primetime two hour special on prostitution all the way to the "Cathouse" shows on HBO we are fascinated by hookers, sex and the taboo of it all. I can understand the curiosity. I suppose that's why Dupre stands to make a killing from her story. Isn't it odd that Ashley will make good money for her story, but some twenty dollar street walker is a pariah for doing the same job in a car instead of a suite? Maybe it's because she's closer to the Julia Robert's, Pretty Woman kind of hooker we all romanticize rather that the meth addicted, cellulite ridden, pimp payin' reality.

Enough soap boxing. Here's a programming note. I'll be filling in for Steve and Johnnie, Friday morning from 2-5 am on WGN. If you're up late/early tune in. I'll have the weekend report, some amusing tales and maybe a visit from "Teddy Vegas". That's a lot to jam into three hours, but I'll do my best. Later...Brian

Is That A Blarney Stone In Your Pocket?

Top of the mornin' to ya. 'Tis a great day for the Irish. Yes, it's St. Patrick's Day and as you can imagine, I'm already three sheets to the wind. That would be funny/sad if it were true. Maybe it is. You'll never know unless you're packing a Breathalyzer under your green shirt. I know there are some people who are still drunk, given the fact that the celebrations began weeks ago, but came to a head Saturday. The big Chicago St. Patrick's Day Parade kicked off the festivities and every Irish pub or sports bar that could convince their waitresses to wear a short kilt had promotions running. Some places even tried to sell their versions of "family friendly" celebrations by having Irish dancers, face painters and balloon sculptors. These "artists" always seem creepy to me. They always have a little apron dangling in front of their junk and spend an improper amount of time fishing around for the "right color" balloon. Then half way through the process of making a wild hat, or an out of proportion giraffe, they stop, and hold up a monstrosity that inevitably looks like a prop on an adult film set. Hey, if I wanted my kid to see a dildo, I'd have them take a longer look at you balloon jockey.

That being said, "Wife" and I will be taking "Daughter" to our local pub later today to let her soak up a little of her heritage while her old man soaks up a little of his motherland's liquid exports. What better way for a child to learn their history than by listening to depressing music,
eating pickled meats and watching adults drink beer and try to kiss each other because they have a silly button on their chest? I wish I were that kid. To be honest, I'm really looking forward to seeing a few of the bands today. I get a thrill out of bagpipe music and for my money, you can't beat a tin whistle.

Since we all know that timing is everything, today is also the day that senior citizens can start riding public transportation for free in Illinois. That's perfect. I can't tell you how many times I've been out on St. Patrick's Day and had the blarney scared out of me by some elderly driver who had pounded a few too many green beers having mistaken them for some type of healthy tonic. Now we can load all the hopped up seniors onto the trains and let the government take them home.

I just realized that all the time I've spent writing could have been spent in the lab perfecting my "Black and Tan" pour. There is a skill to keeping the two beers perfectly separated and I am nothing if not a perfectionist. I'll spend the better part of the day on my experiments. The good thing is, unlike cancer research or other things that really matter, even if I make a mistake, it tastes good.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Later....Brian

Hey, Remember Me?

Howdy stranger. It's been a long time. So much has happened since last we visited. I've neglected Valentine's Day, the Northern Illinois tragedy, a crazed house frau slamming into my car and even Groundhog's Day. I'm back just in time to wonder about the woman whose ass became fused to a toilet seat because she hadn't left her bathroom in two years. I've had some lengthy dealings on the throne, but usually once my legs fall asleep I call for help. Apparently she had some mental dysfunction (really?) that made her feel safe in the can. I too sometimes seek solace in the W.C., but again, once I've perused the current issue of Entertainment Weekly I call it a day and go to another room in the house. I don't care how nicely appointed your bathroom is, I can't imagine wanting to spend two years in there. Hers was not a high line, four star poopatorium either. She's a fine, trailer living nut case. Have you ever had to use the bathroom in a trailer? I'm not proud to say I have, and trust me when I tell you, five minutes in one of those aluminum cells is four and a half minutes too long. Anyway, the authorities finally got her, toilet seat and all, to the hospital where she's now undergoing a very painful and personal separation. I got stuck to a vinyl car seat one summer, and I know how much getting out of that Gremlin hurt. I can't imagine having a plastic Peerless seat scraped from my delicate hind quarters.

By now you're probably thinking,"Hey Brian, you're back, but why the absence?" No excuses. I'll thumb nail it for you. Almost three weeks of working the overnight shift filling in for the great Steve and Johnnie, doing my own shows, so much inter-family illness that a "Quarantine" sign should have been plastered to our door, a serious health scare with our oldest dog (things seem ok now) and a general sense of too much going on. See, nothing more than any of you are going through, but it makes composing witty missives seem less important. Take heart in knowing that I have been harassed by a number of people for not being more diligent. Peer pressure being what it is, I'll try harder. ( I know, you've read that before.)

Here's the part where I shamelessly plug stuff. Don't forget to listen to the big show on WGN Saturday night/Sunday Morning. I'll have lots of Irish music, and Irish trivia during the "Overnight Arcade" all to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. There are sure to be more surprises. Another thing. You know how I like to embrace technology, well I've joined Facebook. One of my fine listeners has started the "Brian Noonan WGN Overnight Fan Club". I know, I'm as shocked as you are, but flattered none the less. If you're a Facebook member, drop by and join the group. Total world domination is the goal. Have a great weekend! Later...brian