When Technology Attacks

It's after 9:30 and I really need to plop down in the Comfort King and veg out for a few minutes before falling into a fitful slumber. This has been a crazy day that made it painfully obvious that I am neither tech savvy nor good at making quick purchasing decisions.

Yesterday I was printing some stories in preparation for the big radio show. Everything was fine, but then my printer and my computer conspired against me. I don't know how, and I don't want to know, but the printer relayed the message that it was low on ink. The computer flashed a big warning to me, and not being one to ignore big warnings, I was off to buy some ink. I decided to go to Sam's Club while I was out, because warehouse size is how I roll. There really is very little we can use from Sam's, seeing as there are only three people in our family and Sam's products are designed to feed Mormon clans. Just my luck, they had the kind of ink I needed. Being Sam's however, it was bundled in a "value" pack. I always keep a keen eye out for a bargain, so I sprung for all the ink. Sure it was a bigger initial outlay, but I'd have this printer for awhile and I go through a lot of ink. I get home, replace the ink cartridges and, you guessed right, the printer craps out.

I have a hard time letting things go. I couldn't come to grips with the fact that my printer had died, even after being told that by a sympathetic, but ultimately useless tech from the printer company's help line. So today I was off to replace my printer. I figured it would be easy. I'll just get the same one I had, and since I already have enough ink to make a squid lust after me, I'll be all set. Am I the only person that doesn't know how fast technology advances? Somebody should have called me on my rotary phone or sent me a telegram. When I told the sales people at a couple of stores that I was trying to replace a two year old printer with an exact copy, they looked at me like I had asked where I could find a good word processor. The choices in the printer world are vast, and my patience is wee. I tried to narrow it down to a few choices, and then I did what I always do when it comes time to pull the trigger on a purchase, I called "Wife" at work and feigned an aneurysm.

"Wife" listened intently and them told me to dry my tears and buy this certain model. I've just spent over an hour hooking it up and trying to figure out all the features. I miss my old printer, that traitorous, unreliable piece of junk. I better be careful what I say, these things talk to each other. Later...Brian